Monday, July 24, 2006

No rest for the wicked.

Clusterfucked: No other way to describe the torrent of paper unleashed by the Brooklyn office of the Department of Buildings in response to the collateral damage caused by last Friday's piling installation. Hardest hit was the owner of 1504 Eighth Avenue with a "Failure to Maintain Building" violation. Description of said violation is as follows: "Rear exterior wall of building out of plumb, noticeable diagonal vertical crack approx. 1/2 inch wide 12'' deep 30ft length on West side. Rear interior bedroom apt. 1L various cracks around rear doors, windows bulging out of plumb at North facing exterior wall at rear." REMEDY/REQUIREMENTS: "Obtain all necessary permits for repairs." I do not believe there has been an order to vacate the building as of yet. Tenants were seen coming and going during the day. Is it too late to apply for renters insurance?

Next in line was The Memorial Baptist Church. "DESALOJO, NO ENTRE" or for you English speakers, "VACATE, DO NOT ENTER".
As Sunday services were being held, DoB inspectors were busy stretching yellow caution tape from one end of their garden parking lot to the other preventing anyone from entering to remove their cars. Was the side wall of 1504 going to collapse? "THE DEPARTMENT OF BUILDINGS HAS DETERMINED THAT THE CONDITIONS IN THIS PREMISES ARE IMMINENTLY PERILOUS TO LIFE" which you got to admit, kind of sucks. Everyone knows that those multipassenger church vans have a high fatality rate, but who would think you could be killed in one even while parked?

Last but not least, the DoB rightfully placed a Stop Work Order on the entire job site of 406-408 15th Street. Did you know that it is illegal to tear down, remove, or deface that magical little sheet of paper with Borough Commissioner, Magdi Mossad's name attached? My bet it will be down by 6:30am Monday morning when the instigators arrive.

It is interesting to see that the burden of making the repairs rests on the home owner, and not the company doing the next door construction work. The owner of 1504, turns out to be Arnold Rosenshein of Park West Realty. For those Slopers with good memories, Park West Realty was busted and fined $40,000 back in 1995 for "engaging in unlawful real estate practices by refusing to show apartments to certain applicants based on race" according to an article by New York Times reporter Dennis Hevesi.

Why do I have the feeling that Blue Monday isn't going to take the heat for this shit. Black Friday could not be reached for comment.

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