Wednesday, January 09, 2008

18th Street secedes from Windsor Terrace!

Brooklyn Realtors Prepared to Recognize "Prospect Bluffs" as Sovereign Entity.

It may have been the frightening popularity of those criminally ornate, polished stainless steel entrance doors and gates now spreading throughout the neighborhood. Or it may have been the pre-cast concrete gargoyles. We may never know what spontaneously ignited the final straw that broke the camel's back, leaving no other options left for the developer of
481 18th
but to secede from greater Windsor Terrace.

The so called
"Aluminum Curtain" has now fallen. "A new age, and neighborhood is amongst us. Long live Prospect Bluffs."

Any hope of reconciliation was crushed yesterday when the 18 page "Prospect Bluffs Manifesto" was stapled in the most precise grid ever on the plywood construction fence out front of the striking three family development. Each page, placed within its own form follows function transparent plastic sleeve, outlined a reason why living within the confines of Windsor Terrace is no longer tolerable.
"Exit Windsor Terrace Proviso no. 13" for example, calls for an immediate moratorium on the application of aluminum siding to any structure within the new Prospect Bluffs Non-contextual District, and a phasing out of any and all existing buildings without "witty juxtaposition of surfaces" within the next 10 years. They even go so far as to ban outright, "the permanent placement, display, and or exhibition of sports memorabilia, ceramic figurines (cats, dogs, and owls), as well as any religious statuary, from interior windowsills that may be plainly visible to any passerby.'' These "Chotchki Prohibitions" fuel what is now becoming an unbearable resentment against these new comers by the native, old timer Windsor Terraceans. Some are saying let them go. Others are not so willing to lose any more territory.

We plan on taking this lying down... if that's possible.

Terrified that these same secessionist feelings could spread to other streets, local activists are planning to meet up at Ferrell's around noon after Sunday mass, and then from there, head on over to the 8th Avenue pedestrian overpass later in the day, well, eventually by say 5pm. "That's where we plan to make our final stand," remarked long time resident Paddy O'Furniture. "There's only another two blocks until you hit the Cemetery and we don't want those asshats over in Greenwood Heights getting any effin' ideas either."
Editors Note: When I gently reminded them the Giants are playing the Cowboys at 4:30pm they quickly called off the protest.

The Giant Sleeping.

"The North Bank" as the Eighteenth Streeters like to refer to their side of Prospect Bluffs, is currently experiencing an architectural zeitgeist of the highest order.
But on the other side, just across the overpass lies the shell of the old 3 story (fire damaged) mattress factory. It's located on the corner of 19th Street and (1901) Eighth Avenue. The banner says openly, FOR SALE. DoB records from January of 2007 show a first attempt at trying to c o n v e r t the warehouses' zoning from M1-1 light manufacturing to residential use failed. No further attempts have been made in the last year. The warehouse has Board of Standards and Approvals approved plans for a 37,614 square foot condominium conversion. The proposed project is designed to include 31 luxury units and 20 parking spaces. It could be yours for the taking for the unbeatable price of $7.5 million. This would make a nice addition to the South Bank of Prospect Bluffs, I bet, if it falls into the right architects hands... especially if they can complete the C of O conversion before Super Bowl Sunday.

1 comment:

IMBY said...

To: "At last the clouds have parted..."
I wish to respond to your recent comments. Sometimes one needs to trust their first impressions, as they are more often than not, correct. Having only recently stumbled upon your building, I can say that I had absolutely no responsibility for any of your unfortunate past or present DOB related trials and tribulations.

Personally from what I have seen, I like the looks of your building. No malice was intended. So fear not.

And while I'm at it, let me be the first to sincerely welcome you to Prospect Bluffs.