Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Anger Management

I have this unwritten rule not to look out my rear window until I have made breakfast, eaten breakfast, cleaned up after breakfast. The reason? You never know what you will see out there that could potentially fuck the living shit out of your day. Today I broke that rule and looked. Big mistake. No Lucky Charms today.

What did I observe? There was a man standing in my back yard randomly pulling the branches off my weeping juniper with what appeared to be a pair of pliers. This tree has special importance to me that I will not bother you with at this time. Needless to say I was not a happy WEBLOW.

Besides pruning our tree, the man seemed to be messing around with the cable lines. The entire block's phone/cable lines have been in a continuous mess ever since construction began 18 months ago. We lose service on a regular basis. Every time the foundation contractors reach over the fence with the extended arm of their backhoe to unload a bucket of dirt, they risk snagging the now sagging lines. Sometimes they wait till after the sun sets to unload, being the drama queens that they are.
They have even knocked down the pole once before. Verizon owns these poles. They lease them to Time Warner. Verizon's engineering department has told me that they will eventually redo the entire block when all construction is finished. Verizon's experience with contractors is not good. Contractors bad. Contractors break things Verizon just got done fixin'.

So what I first assumed to be another trespass by the Armory Plaza Gang, turned out to be subcontractors working for Time Warner Cable. They were not wearing uniforms. If they had been wearing hard hats, I would have know right away that they were not affiliated with the construction site. No one in the Armory Plaza Gang ever wears a hard hat.

I called Time Warner to vent. The Time Warner operator asked if they had gotten permission to work in my yard. I tell her it's not the fact that they are working in my yard with out permission so much as the unathorized tree pruning. The Time Warner operator tells me to CALL THE POLICE-CALL 911 AND HAVE THEM ARRESTED FOR TRESPASSING. Wow, operator, how stone cold you are.

According to psychologists, there are something like ten kinds of anger. Nine are bad. The good one, the constructive kind, is the one that makes you donate 10% of your earnings to save endangered amphibian species and adopt orphans from war torn countries. I was feeling the kind of primal anger that needs to be "shared". The kind one feels right before one smashes a windshield out with a golf club. The kind that Mother Nature uses to thin the herd- To "off" people with unknown congenital malformations of certain thin walled arteries located deep in the brain.

Being Tubed. A few days later someone sends me a link to You Tube. Someone named Blasfinny. In the first video, two guys are struggling with a ladder, trying to get over the plywood construction fence. It looks life threatening.
The next video the same thing, except the next thing you hear, but do not see right away, is someone screaming at the top of their lungs to "get the fuck off my property". My silly neighbors!
Video #3

Video #1

In catechism class, the nuns would tell you that Jesus sees everything you do and hears everything you say... Maybe You Tube is god. Will this go on the permanent record?

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg has decided to make the city of New York the first in the nation to allow the transmission of digital photographic evidence directly to our trusty 311 and 911 operators. It will happen in the next 2 years. The revolution starts here, rest of the world.

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