Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I Love Lucy's Vegas Style Auto Spa.

Conveyorized Tunnel Wash-n-Ride

This is a good place to get your boat washed while visiting the dearly departed in the Green Wood Cemetery. It's right across the street. It's also one of the few places left that still allows you and your whole family to remain seated in the car while it's being cleaned. I always take my kids along for the ride and ask for the "extra specials por favor" not included in your basic wash. For a few bucks more they will squirt two crazy streams of pink and turquoise mystery fun foam on your front windshield. I'm not really sure what it is that I'd just paid for, but it definitely adds to that over the top visual presentation that I require from both my automobile hygienist and nouvelle cuisinartist.
At or should I say in Lucy's Vegas Auto Spa, nothing is going to be served up on a bed of coddled baby greens. No homemade ginger infused tire dressing. You get lathered cream sauce, heavy handed pools of soapy cream sauce.
Elsewhere in the pampered Park Slope, Mommy and Me Organic Car Wash Classes are being ergonomically taught straight out of Martha Stewart's Plating Handbook, but not at Vegas Auto Spa, and not my kids. They're getting their car washed Old World Wisconsin Salad Style. That's an entire head of ice burg lettuce served severed in two the same way Lucy washes my car... Slathered over in creamy chunky blue cheese dressing, and generously garnished with loads of dime sized bits of real bacon. Brushless wash? Synthetic boar's hair vent wands? Chamois? We simply don't need no stinking chamois!
Get Armor All'ed While-U-Wait $4.95
Warning: Watch Your Step! When you and your loved one's eventually get out of your car at the down stream vacuuming station, (that's extra) be prepared. The asphalt has acquired a very slippery glazing of sorts (not unlike the kitchen help in a Red Lobster seafood restaurant) from all the years of detailing chemical over spray.

Hint: Hard time keeping the little ones busy while the technicians finish vacuuming? Put their tiny fingers to work fishing the loose change from the debris clean out containers. Usually find enough for a Happy Meal.

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